Lord of the Rings: The Animated Musical

The morning after Bilbo disappeared during his Long-Expected Party, his heir Frodo took the brunt of the backlash while handing out gifts labeled with insults written by Bilbo. These gifts were remarkable not only for their snide nature but also for being more modern than other gifts given throughout The Lord of the Rings. While variations of these objects had existed for centuries, if not millennia, their status as items once owned by a single person suggested once again that the Shire had entered an early industrial revolution, allowing goods to be mass manufactured at prices that were a fraction of previous costs. Even with these reductions, such gift-giving was an extravagant display of wealth, especially when considering how Bilbo left the remainder of possessions to Frodo. In this essay, I will review the items given to the ungrateful relatives, describe the history of similar objects in the Real World, and reveal how some of these insults were even worse than what appeared on the label.

Many hobbits crowd into a room looking angrily at their gifts.

Umbrella

While an umbrella last appeared with the day dress outfit of Elanor Gardner Fairbairn, I had not described the history of this innovation. Apparently, umbrellas and their relatives, parasols and sunshades, have their own small field of study within the larger field of material culture, as I discovered many more scholarly articles on the topic than I expected. Beginning with linguistics, the word “umbrella” comes from Latin via Italian and was first found in England as an accessory for women to shield them from the sun in the early 18^th century. European umbrellas were based on “fan-shaped forms” recorded in Egypt during the Fifth Dynasty or around 2450 BC. Akkadian empires like the Assyrians further spread the invention across the Middle East and Central Asia, while the Greek and Roman empires continued to spread umbrellas throughout Europe and the Middle East.

In the ancient Indian epic Mahabharata, which has become a regular guest in this essay series, the sage Jamadagni has a disagreement with the sun god Surya, threatening to shoot the sun when it takes too long in the sky at midday, as people were overheating and getting burned. The sun asked for forgiveness and gave Jamadagni an umbrella and shoes as a gift to protect him from heat. The story not only taught people to forgive others for mistakes but also began a tradition of umbrella-gifting among Brahma, the highest level of the caste system last discussed in “‘Rustic’ Hobbits of the Late Third Age”.

During the European Middle Ages, powerful members of the church adopted the practice of having their servants shield them with parasols during holy processions. This likely originated in polytheist worship practices in Greek and Roman religion dating as far back as the 8^th century BC. The noblewomen of mainland Europe adopted parasols throughout the 16^th century and even included them in their portraits. The painting titled Marchesa Elena Grimaldi Cattaneo completed by Sir Anthony van Dyck in 1623 shows a tall, pale Flemish woman shielded by a bright red umbrella matching the cuffs of her coat sleeves. Holding the parasol is an unnamed African servant, his height suggesting that he might be a young teenager. His presence is treated with the air of luxurious material possession as was given to the parasol.

Since secular umbrellas became associated with women, men were initially mocked for using them, as if being sunburned or rained upon was not a universal complaint. Opinions on umbrellas began to shift during the mid-18th century, in part thanks to merchant-philanthropist Jonas Hanway who founded hospitals in London and was known for the “neatness in dress and delicate complexion” usually associated with women. Hanway was far from meek, as he regularly beat hecklers with the umbrella. Other idiosyncrasies included his hatred of tea, never marrying, protecting child laborers such as chimney-sweeps, and the perennial favorite, antisemitism. By the end of his life in 1786, umbrellas were not only becoming accepted but also entering the Industrial Revolution with every other manufacturable product.

The umbrellas known to modern people are mass produced in factories. The first of these in the United States was Beehler Umbrella Factory named for founder Francis Beehler from Germany, which he built in Baltimore, Maryland in 1828. The factory lasted until 1976 with business affected by changes in transportation. People would rather drive than walk on a rainy day. Even so, the well-known impressionist painting Paris Street; Rainy Day by Gustave Caillebotte from 1877 captured the seemingly pleasant activity of walking through a major metropolitan area during a light drizzle. The painting shows the change in attitude from the 18^th century, as men prominently hold their black, factory-made umbrellas.

Simple illustration of a late 19th century style green umbrella

A father hobbit and his five hobbit-children stand around an umbrella. The father looks angry while the oldest son giggles.

Based on my interpretation of the Shire as being a protoindustrial or early industrial society similar to the beginning of the 19^th century, umbrellas were increasingly easy to produce and a crucial traveling item for hobbit-lasses yet not held in esteem by hobbit-lads. Accordingly, the umbrella given to Adelard Took was a double insult. Bilbo teased his younger cousin not only for stealing umbrellas but also for being feminine. Compounding this insult was the biographies of these individuals with Adelard belonging to the most powerful Hobbit family and fathering five children, while Bilbo never married, preferring flowers, clothes, and poetry to more masculine pursuits.

Large Waste-Paper Basket

The phrase “waste-paper basket” with a hyphen between “waste” and “paper” is unique to Tolkien, as most people would use the terms “garbage can”, “rubbish bin”, or “wastebasket”. According to Google Books Ngram Viewer, garbage can is currently the term most frequently occurring in English language books written between 1990 and 2022, followed closely by wastebasket with rubbish bin lagging far behind and waste paper basket without the hyphen barely charting. Wastebasket had the lead from about 1930 through 1990, while rubbish bin appeared around 1990. Sorted for British English, the terms currently appear in the same order, although rubbish bin is much closer to the others and has regularly flipflopped with wastebasket. Waste paper basket was the most common term in British English until about 1980 and even appeared earlier. While the terms garbage can, wastebasket, and rubbish bin arose between 1870 and 1910 as the field of public health developed during the Second Industrial Revolution, waste paper basket appeared in 1840 just after the First Industrial Revolution.

Simple illustration of a large, yellow waste-paper basket.

The elderly hobbit-lass on the left holds the waste-paper basket and looks sour, while the elderly hobbit-lad on the right giggles.

As for the design of the waste-paper basket received by Dora Baggins, I designed this to be a wooden container painted a semi-gloss yellow for easy cleaning. The classic metal and wire wastebaskets in American offices did not appear until the early 20^th century, and Bilbo definitely would not have the plastic wastebaskets found in modern offices.

Gold Pen and Ink-Bottle

The gold pen and ink-bottle given to Milo Burrows, who never responded to letters, marked a shift in technology from feather pens or quills to metal pens. I had previously designed a golden quill feather used by Bilbo, as he was an old hobbit and likely preferred the technology of his youth. Quill technology in the Real World is old, but not as old as one might suspect. The quill arrived around 700 AD, while the word “quill” appeared in English from Middle German around 1400. to join the word “pen” from Latin via French. Both words meant “feather”. Quill-pens were popularized by 1828 when technological advances in steel production allowed metal nibs to be affixed to the ends of feathers.

Pens made of fancier metals had already existed for many years. Mid-17th century diarist Samuel Pepys, last mentioned in “Pub Culture”, had “a silver pen… to carry inke in” which he “made use of… writing of this sermon” or taking notes during a church service. Silver fountain pens were available throughout the British Empire during the reign of Charles II from 1660 to 1685 and were available for purchase in the American colonies for five shillings apiece. According to the Bank of England converters, five shillings was equivalent to a quarter pound, which has inflated to about fourty-four pounds or fifty-nine dollars in 2025.

Simple illustration of an early 19th century gold metal pen and a matching metal ink-bottle

At center, the tall hobbit-lad looks nervously at a gold pen and matching ink-bottle to his right set on a table. To his left, a hobbit-lass glares at him or the gift.

The use of gold instead of silver for the pen is unusual. Bilbo may have been flaunting his great wealth, or he may have been referring to a color scheme appearing throughout the legendarium. As mentioned in “Appendix A, I The Númenórean Kings, (i) Númenor”, gold and yellow referred to dawn and the Gold Tree or Laurelin whose remnants had become the sun, while silver and white referred to dusk and the Silver Tree or Telperion whose remnants had become the moon.

Round Convex Mirror

I last referenced the expense of mirrors from before the First Industrial Revolution while describing Bilbo’s traveling outfit. Giving away such a mirror was yet another flaunting of wealth. This mirror received a fairly specific description: it is a round, convex mirror, meaning the glass of the mirror bent towards the viewer. The bent surface allows more light to hit the glass, allowing the viewer to see more of the environment behind them, which has given them the nickname of “banker’s mirrors”. In the Real World, these mirrors are found on cars to give drivers a better view of traffic and in office buildings to prevent employees from running into each other.

Historically, the earliest painting of a convex mirror is part of a double portrait created by Flemish artist Jan van Eyck in 1434 possibly depicting a wealthy Italian couple, merchant Giovanni di Nicolao di Arnolfini and his second wife Giovanna Cenami. The painting is filled with signs of wealth from a “new money” family, like modern celebrities leading an Architectural Digest home tour. Oranges sit casually on the window sill and a bureau, luxurious red cloth covers the bed, and the mirror at the center of the painting is much larger than could have been made at the time.

A simple illustration of a round convex mirror with a thick, gilded frame.

A hobbit father and hobbit daughter stand in front of a round, convex mirror hung from the wall.

Once again, Bilbo’s gift to Angelica Baggins appears to have a deeper meaning beyond the surface level joke. According to professional witch Mickie Mueller in her book Witch’s Mirror: The Craft, Lore & Magick of the Looking Glass, these mirrors were originally known as oeil de sorcière or eye of sorceress, also translated as a witch mirror. Mueller believes such mirrors “are great for halting hexes, negative magic, or harmful energy of any kind”. Not only does Bilbo comment on his young cousin’s obsession with her appearance, not uncommon for an adolescent girl, but he may be implying that she is an ugly witch.

(Empty) Book Case

While a high-quality bookcase can be expensive, people of the modern world have access to books through local public libraries and online archives. Before modern printing presses and digital technology, reading was a luxury, let alone owning a book. Books came in two formats: scrolls or codices. The modern printed book is technically a codex, meaning text appears on both sides of the paper, and the ends of the paper are connected to a spine between two covers. The codex format is older than one might realize, with Codex Sinaiticus or the oldest codex of the New Testament dating from the mid-4^th century AD. Bilbo’s gift of an empty bookcase to Milo Burrows implied that Bilbo had many other bookcases filled with books to leave for Frodo, making this present yet another flaunt of wealth. Furthermore, the lighthearted nature of Milo forgetting to return books shows how wealthy the upper echelon of Hobbit society was compared to the rest of the “unlettered” population.

A simple illustration of a green, wooden bookshelf without books.

A pair of middle-aged hobbit-lads stand in front of a green, empty book shelf

A Dozen Bottles of Old Winyards

While I discussed the sale of wine and other alcohols in “Pub Culture” and its mythology in “Hobbit Foods”, I have not mentioned the origin of wine bottles. The authoritative Corning Museum of Glass, which I visited in the years before the blog, dated the earliest Western-style glass bottles to Roman Phoenicia in 50 BC with modern blown glass techniques developed by 50 AD, an incredible breakthrough. Glass bottles have been mass produced in England for over four hundred years, or since the early 17^th century, while production began at American colonial sites soon after settlement, including Jamestown, VA and Sandwich, MA, both of which are now museums that I have visited. Creating bottles required skilled workers who trained through lengthy apprenticeships and could only make one bottle at a time, driving up labor costs.

The American Society of Mechanical Engineers credits Michael Joseph Owens as the inventor of the first commercially viable glass bottle making machine, which he used to start his business, Owens Bottle Machine Company, in 1903. Owens had worked as a child laborer in the glass industry, and his invention ended these harmful practices along with drastically reducing the cost of bottles.

A wooden box containing eleven bottles plus one bottle standing in front.

A family of hobbits gather around Frodo, who stands at the door of Bag End holding a box of wine bottles. Patriarch Rory drinks directly from a bottle.

I had last mentioned in “Appendix F, II On Translation” how the Masters of Buckland were known for imbibing, and Boozybuck may have been the translated pun for the Brandybuck family. Bilbo obviously knew of this joke in his gift of Old Winyards to Rory, who was not his relative except that both served as foster parents to Frodo; I imagine Bilbo did a better job of it. Of course, the subtle flaunt of wealth came from delivering the wine not in cheap wooden barrels but expensive bottles that had been “laid down by Bilbo’s father” decades before the Long-Expected Party.

Silver Spoons

I only have one story for silver spoons, as I have been waiting a long time for the appropriate moment to share. American readers are likely aware of Oneida Limited, a company known for creating high quality silverware. The company describes itself as “founded in Oneida, New York in 1880 by a small group of visionaries who wanted to transform the art of silversmithing”. They were not wrong, but that was not the whole story.

A simple illustration of a green velvet-lined wooden case with ten spoons in the twelve slots.

A pair of older hobbits stand in the Great Hall at Bag End front of a table with the case of spoons on top.

Thirty-two years before the powerful cutlery manufacturer opened its doors, a cult was founded by John Humphrey Noyes, a Vermonter who believed Jesus Christ had returned in 70 AD and that Noyes lived without sin. Since Noyes apparently used the term “sin” however he wanted, he invented another term, “free love”, and formed a cult where all members were married in some way. Since this is a family-focused blog, I will spare the reader from the details. Noyes had at least twelve children, and the most enterprising was Pierrepont. He turned the cult into a capitalist’s dream, forming a corporation that became “the world’s largest producer of silverware and stainless steel flatware” according to his online memorial. As strange as the tales of the legendarium may seem, tales of the Real World will somehow manage to be stranger.

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